Surviving Is Not Thriving
Why don’t we go to therapy? We prioritize so many things in life, but often times mental health takes a backseat, particularly in melanated communities. We are at higher risk for poor mental health and the dynamics of that are beyond any one post.
Let’s see…there’s racism, that harmful “crazy” stigma, religion, socioeconomic challenges, the ever present struggle; the list goes on. And while we worry about everything but our mental health, there it is, hanging on for dear life, trying to hold us together until suddenly, the dam breaks. The equipment is old, maintenance has been neglected, erosion has set in, but somehow we are surprised at how unstable it all is.
There is this belief in our communities that mental health concerns are taboo. We’ve been taught that worrying about mental wellness somehow makes us less than. That sharing those emotions with a therapist makes us soft and that being vulnerable has no place. “Why go to see someone when you can go to God?” (We’ll delve into that one in a future post.) “You be ight.” “Man up.” “It’s not that serious.” “You’re so emotional.” These comments are toxic in nature and we need to do better, support better, be better.
Melanated family, we are resilient, we are determined, and we have persevered because we have had no other choice. We are so used to fighting, to surviving, that we think we’re somehow weak for needing help. But surviving is not thriving. “The struggle is real”, yes, but what struggle have we ever come out of by doing nothing?
If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that we are in pain. Every. Day. And you think you’re meant to suffer alone, ON TOP of every day life? You have to start taking responsibility for your own mental wellness because no one else will care about it more than you.
Yes, you are angry, yes you are depressed, yes, you are anxious. You are afraid and you are hurting. But what are you gonna do about it? Because taking it on the chin is no longer an option. Not if we want to be healthy, not if we want to break cycles, not if we value our lives.
There’s no need to be afraid of therapy, embarrassed by counseling, ashamed of help. It’s not for people who can’t help themselves, it’s for people who want to. Me? I’m just here to help guide you. I like to say “grown people make grown decisions,” but if you want to learn how to make healthier ones, you should probably go to therapy.